I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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