Are we in a gay sports bar?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
