My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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