Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
