we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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