I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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