you would pick up someone in the library
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize