just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
