ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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