im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
