We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
