Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize