This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
