There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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