Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize