I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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