Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
