there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
And then he peed in my hair
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