New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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