She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
