I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want to have your abortion
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize