Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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