I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
