Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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