What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
