Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
