i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize