I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
