Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
