Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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