If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
