Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
