It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
