I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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