He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
