I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
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"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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