when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
