Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize