Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
