Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
