When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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