I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
