i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
