dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish I only lived at night.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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