I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
