so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
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Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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