i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
