i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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