bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
