It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
