I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
