I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just made out with a guy for $7.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize