This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
