I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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