tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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