I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
