You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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