Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
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She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
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That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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