R you on birth control?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed