If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard