I would do horrible things to your vagina.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from