It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same