You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...