So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't