Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
