i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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